| IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: By Rudyard Kipling |
Second, third and fourth paragraph are irrelevant but the first seems to hit the nail on the head!
Jamie's work load for Master planning is staggering and testing for most of us, especially those of us who juggle home, job and uni. It also seems incredible that so much energy is initially put on Metis and then we break up at Christmas without a resolved masterplan to draw up.
There's a group consciousness within the class of competition that can verge on quite martyred. Everyone wants to appear to be doing well and in that want sometimes I can loose sight of the end goal. I signed up for a Garden Design degree and sometimes it feels like a Graphic Design degree rather than Garden Design. If I spent as much time talking with my lecturers about design layouts as I did font styles and layout I might be a great designer by now. As it is I'm becoming a much better graphic designer.
Yesterday morning in spite of the snow we had our pin up and Jamie was quite emphatic that we all attended. His exact words were 'I am planning on being there and as I live 60-70miles away I think it reasonable that anyone living closer should be there, however things change and the Uni might make the decision to shut the school (unlikely I think) and we might have a huge amount of snow overnight. I have to leave at 7.30 to get there for 10am so I will know then, I will email you by 8am to confirm whether it is on or off. Currently its on, so anyone with a no show needs a very good excuse (including photographic evidence) if myself and Julia get there.'
I parked facing downhill, filled the tank up and left Brighton at 6.45am. Do you ever start a journey and hear the 'Casualty theme tune' in your head. Yesterday I did. However with Jamie's words ringing in my ears I set off. I managed to get out of Brighton fairly easily as we don't get much snow settling due to the increased temperature and salt in the air. I then hit the motorway and tucked into the slow lane and pootled up the A23/M25 and A20. I arrived at Avery Hill to see half the class and them to tell me that Jamie had cancelled. It was cancelled an hour and a half after I left but driving was so treacherous that I didn't check my mobile phone. By the time I'd driven home I had spent 5 hours on the road!
On the long journey there and home I had a lot of time to think! I got to thinking about ego and control. As a designer clients need to believe in us and our ability to design. Unfortunately nowadays that seems to be instilled by having an ego that you can barely get in the room and a show garden under your belt.
Control also must be part of our character as we want to design we will be controlling how people circulate and receive our designs. Jamie undoubtedly has our best interests at heart and wants to teach us how to be a good designer. However sometimes the pressure he puts on us can be excrusiating. For me I don't do my best when I am white with panic and fear.
By the time I'd got back to Brighton I was in such a foul mood I decided to take the rest of the day off. I went to the flicks, walked the hound on the downs and cooked a beautiful dinner. Then I slept for 13 hours (I'd not slept the night before) I've got so much more done today for not feeling panicked and stressed.
When I hear Garden Designers talk they either come from a place of huge ego or huge modesty (no, I'm not going to name names). I remember hearing Tom Hoblyn talk at the V and A. After every large commission at the initial brief stage he goes on holiday. Only round England but the impression I got was that he needed to regroup, relax and see the brief with fresh eyes. Maybe he feels that without that distance and hitting the refresh button he can't see the job in perspective. Being around such big characters and with such an unrelenting work load at the moment I think that is important for me to touch base more often before I get taken away with the adrenal tide!
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